The unspoken fret of success
Success is a double edged sword. You achieve goals, get appreciation, but your mind does not rest. The anxiety is fueled by the same drive that made you successful.
You spend evenings replaying dialogues, agonising over decisions, trying to predict the unpredictable.
You are not alone and you are not broken. You have been wired to guard yourself, not to sleep.
So, what helps anxiety and overthinking?
The reason you overthink
Overthinking is your mind’s way of protecting yourself. Your subconscious is telling you that you will not fail if you think hard enough. “When I am sure and prepared, I will not be harmed”.
This reasoning, whilst valuable in tense situations, is now holding you hostage. You are perpetually in a state of alert and your nervous system no longer knows how to be safe.
According to Marisa Peer, your mind’s job is to keep you alive rather than to make you happy. Your overthinking is the false effort of your brain to protect you, not to sabotage you.
Calm is the new control: rewiring the pattern
This is the fact: You do not have to take control of everything to be safe.
Safety is not gained by controlling the process or consequence; it is a matter of having the confidence to deal with the consequences that occur.
Start saying this to yourself every day: “It’s safe for me to slow down. I believe in myself. I can cope with whatever comes.”
Spoken with conviction and repetition, these simple phrases start to re-program your mind to associate calm and safety.
4 steps to stop overthinking
In the moment when you feel like your mind is going round in circles, use the following fast reframe routine:
- Name it. “This is overthinking.” The naming of it puts a distance between you and it.
- Breathe. Three deep breaths, in calm, out control.
- Reassure your mind. “I’m safe. I think clearly when I am relaxed.”
- Move your body. Stress and anxiety is not just a mental thing, it is physical. Walk, stretch, shake it out.
Whenever you do it, you are training and rewiring your nervous system: Calm is my new normal.
The new approach to success
It is not the amount of success that matters but the feeling one gets when one succeeds. When you succeed you command with strength whilst at peace in your heart.
You will make large decisions without trepidation, lead teams without feeling burned out and be able to go to sleep at night without your mind running board meetings in your head.
From overthinking to inner knowing
You need not think or reason your way to peace, you can feel your way to it.
Once your mind is taught that stillness is safe, you no longer survive your success, you enjoy it.
If stress and anxiety is your default, perhaps it’s time to rewire your mind to calm and confidence.
Book a discovery call to find out how to quiet the noise, calm the body and create success that feels good inside
Love, Geraldine
